“Hello there,” writes sagacious political scribe Niki Savva. “My thanks to Nola Tucker (C8) for correcting my grammar. In my defence, English is my second language. I also have a long history with rock cakes. Won’t bore everyone with the details but the coffee shop at Merimbula Airport bakes its own and they are delicious. Whenever we holiday around there, or pick up friends from the airport, we buy them out.”
Maybe Nola should be the one to eat humble rock cake. David McKay of Blaxland has found ‘catastrophise’ in the Macquarie Dictionary.
“Ever wondered just when the US started to go off the rails?” challenges Peter Riley of Penrith. “Well, my 1906 Sears Roebuck mail order catalogue offers a genuine Australian silver wombat coat for $28.35 and, for just $2 more, I could have a handgun and ammo delivered to my door as well. There’s ya problem!”
We found it hard to believe Janet Williams’ metric lark (C8), where people with imperial names were told they would have to change them, but William Sommerville of Goulburn backs her up and blames a bunch of barefaced “officials in nearby Canberra” for the caper. As well as the aforementioned Inch and Pound families, the Tons copped it, too. And there were miles of Miles’.
Likewise, Les Shearman of Darlington asks: “Did wiseacres become hectarors?”
“Having cooled our heels at a large Sydney hospital emergency department for far too many hours recently, we were beginning to notice a trend,” says Colleen Starkey of Mount Colah. “I was being treated by a Dr Annabelle (who looked and sounded like Miranda Hart) and a Nurse Jenna. We laughed because my sister and I both used to have fox terriers with the same names. Then we heard a call for a Dr Lucy, another past dog of ours, and for Dr Frankie – our current ridgeback x. It was at this point my son leant towards me and muttered: ‘If there’s a call for a Dr Fui (our departed and scatterbrained Labrador) – make a run for it!’”
Resident John Frith noticed a curious sign at a fruit-and-vegetable stall at Paddington Markets on the weekend: “All produce is natural”. At about the same time, Adrian Connelly of Springwood saw “a sign in a local shopping mall that read: ‘Caution wet floor’. ‘OK, wet floor, I’m warning you: this is your last chance!’”
Column8@smh.com.au
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